I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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