there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Alive.
So much puke
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
