I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
