I'm really into asian looking animals
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I wish there were birth control emojis
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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