After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
