I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
