I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
