you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
