It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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