he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
