well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
