i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
