I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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