I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
