He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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