now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
