Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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