??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
