On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
