We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
