I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
