i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
