Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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