Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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