I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
