She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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