I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize