Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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