the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
