this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize