i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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