i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
