I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
