I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
