Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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