She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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