i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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