that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
