the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
