I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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