jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
