This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
