Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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