Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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