You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
