I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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