please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
