I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm bleeding and have questions
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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