I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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