drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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