the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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