fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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