They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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