Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
