Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
