guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
