My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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