she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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