(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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