Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I met the friendliest cop last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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