Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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